Dear (your name here)

15 Oct - breakfast

2010-10-15T03:59:00.000-07:00

I'm quite shocked that this crap in my (almost empty) bowl is 250 calories!

I'm on a pretty restrictive diet for a week leading up to a family reunion. As I only had a week's notice so it's not long enough to start the master cleanse. As long as nothing comes up I intend to start it after the big family thing and I think this might be a good way to prepare my body.
My plan for the week is - cereal for breakfast upto 250 cals then pretty much just fruit, veg, soups etc

13th October 2010

2010-10-13T12:51:00.002-07:00

Weight 57.8kg

Going in the right direction I guess just very very slowly
Life has been crazy and not in a good way.
Trying to get back on my feet and get sorted.

13th October 2010

2010-10-13T12:51:00.001-07:00

Weight 57.8kg

Going in the right direction I guess just very very slowly
Life has been crazy and not in a good way.
Trying to get back on my feet and get sorted.

13th October 2010

2010-10-13T12:51:00.000-07:00

Weight 57.8kg

Going in the right direction I guess just very very slowly
Life has been crazy and not in a good way.
Trying to get back on my feet and get sorted.

DAy 1 - 15:20

2010-08-26T07:16:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to slowly sip this drink. I think my insides are working overtime because i took some ex-lax last night and again this morning but maybe i havent been drinking enough for it to have loads of toxins to pass. I seriously want to throw up though so im just trying to slowly sip my drink. I wish the parcel im expecting would hurry up and get here so i can have a little sleep i think that might sort me out a bit. My tummy really hurts but i think that could be my period too.

I never felt like this before

Day 1 - 15:00

2010-08-26T07:01:00.000-07:00

I feel really sick. Not hungry sick - more like i want to collapse and puke my guts out sick.

I'm going to try drink some lemonade now but i'm pretty anxious about it

26th August 2010 [should have been Day 6]

2010-08-26T03:00:00.000-07:00

As you may have guessed i fucked it all up. Since my last post i have been eating spaghetti for every meal and peanut butter and chocolate spread sandwiches in between.

I'm absolutely gutted. Today i joined the forum at www.celebrity-diets.org

Back on it.
Let's go!

Day 3 - 00:45

2010-08-23T16:36:00.000-07:00

I did really well with the shopping except the only lemons I found didn't look very ripe/juicy and despite picking up lots of bad stuff I didn't actually buy anything naughty.
However, on the way home I somehow decided to allow myself one treat so I went to the corner shop which was randomly closed for maintenance. I was pretty grateful but I knew I was going to binge when I got home anyway so instead of baking a cake I made myself some spaghetti bolognaise with lots of veggies.
Obviously I messed up (I had a peanut butter sandwich later too) but it could have been so much worse.
I feel very heavy and bloated so I think it'll prove to be a good lesson for me as I don't feel like eating at all now.
I bought some ex-lax the senna chocolate kind so I had one square just now to get back on the cleanse fully tomorrow.
I am not giving up
I may not be doing great but I'm not quitting that's for sure

Day 3 - 19:00

2010-08-23T10:48:00.000-07:00

I'm so weak and exhausted and it's causing lots of trouble at home. Because my mum isn't well she's really tempramental so the slightest thing can make her go nuts. I think i may make a proper dinner tonight but continue with the cleanse. I guess i can't realy call it a cleanse at all more of a weird 'diet' if this is what i'm doing. I'm hoping there will be a better time to do it maybe next week.

Day 3 - 15:30

2010-08-23T07:26:00.000-07:00

I must admit that my tummy feels flatter. I also have a white coating on my tongue which is supposed to happen so I'm taking that as a sign that I'm on my way to healing.

Current weight: 9st 1, 58.0kg

So that's 2lb loss by day 3 which is pretty damn good. I had planned on weighing myself on friday but I thought I'd take a chance that if I had lost then I would be stronger when I go shopping :)

Day 3 - 15:00

2010-08-23T06:56:00.000-07:00

I'm very shaky - just sipping my first drink now. It took me two and a half hours to dye/wash my hair and have a bath! It's not suprising I feel so weak because I haven't had anything in my system. I made this drink double strength because I felt so rough and I was on the verge of bingeing. I'm going to just watch tv for a bit and let my hair dry then have another drink before I pop to the shops. I'm worried about going to the store because I'd usually sneak a treat. Now I've written it I'm thinking 'why not, wouldn't be the end of the world' etc etc shit I don't know what to do because I only have two lemons so I have to go!

Day 3 - 13:30

2010-08-23T05:38:00.000-07:00

I haven't had any drinks yet! I had a small portion of blueberries (about 80-100g)
I decided to quit waiting for the people around me to so the things they promise so I dyed my hair myself. Hopefully it's alright or I'm going to be pretty pissed.
At the moment I'm in a bath that's not even hot hating my house and thinking about baking brownies.

It's pissing down outside but I want to try go out in a couple of hours anyway. I want to try drinking the mix hourly so I get enough in me for today otherwise I'm really not on the cleanse am I?
Hopefully the hot water will come on soon and I can wash my hair and feel a bit better. Can't believe I haven't had lemonade yet. Feeling pretty sick too.

Day 3 - 10:00

2010-08-23T02:06:00.000-07:00

I'm still in bed which would be fantastic if I'd slept all this time. When it got to 4am and I was still awake I decided to watch family guy and listen to the rain. I managed to get a few hours after that. I'm sure this has nothing to do with the cleanse. My belly is rumbling so I'm going to have my laxatives and blueberries before my first drink.
I'm hoping today will be more strict and successful. No doubt I'll be updating lots if only to use my hands for something other than cooking/eating.
Wish me luck!

Day 2 - 22:00

2010-08-22T13:46:00.000-07:00

I feel horribly full from the soup but I fancy tea and biscuits! I've decided not to go downstairs to put my bowl away or anything because I'm sure I'd cave. In the morning I'll have some laxatives first thing and probably the rest of my blueberries too to get them out the way and get some gooodness in me before a full day of lemonade drinks. I've had 7 today but I'm planning about 10 tomorrow

Day 2 - 20:30

2010-08-22T12:24:00.000-07:00

I'm on my 7th cup of lemonade.
I'm finding it hard and having to constantly reassure myself and reaffirm why i'm doing this. I think that because of my depression and anxiety if i am able to do this detox fully i'll be stronger and feel a sense of pride that i have achieved something. It may not sound like much but it's a big deal to me.
Hating my living situation but seeing this detox as my first little step to a better life and finally one day getting the fuck out of this place.
My sister is making me feel so awful that i might just go to bed soon. DOes me a favour i can't eat if i'm not near the kitchen.

Day 2 - 21:30

2010-08-22T11:04:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling very dizzy so I'm having a watered down soup. I'm kind of disappointed but it's miles better than the chip baguette with loads of mayo I was about to make!
I took two laxative pills earlier as I was reading my cleanse book and it was explaining that the laxatives rid the body of toxins and you're supposed to start taking it the day before the cleanse so I'm concerned I may have three days of toxins built up in me and it's freaking me out. I'm hoping to get out tomorrow to pick up a herbal alternative.

Day 2 - 19:00

2010-08-22T10:58:00.000-07:00

I am so stressed and I'm sick of being around people who make me feel utterly worthless. It's killing me that I can't lead a better happier life because I think that everyone in this world deserves to feel ok.
I want to cry and eat and eat and cry

Day 2 - 18:00

2010-08-22T09:59:00.000-07:00

I'm dreaming up all the different things i could cook right now and going a bit nuts. I'm so distracted i can barely hear the tv. I feel hungry but i know it's not real real hunger it's something in me that craves things that i don't need and likes to ruin the good things i want for myself like the fat monster inside me. Maybe if i literally picture it like that it'll help because i'm not starving, i'm not wasting away and the feelings that i 'need' all kinds of food is just not true.

OK back on it. Must keep going

Day 2 - 17:30

2010-08-22T09:24:00.000-07:00

I am dying for a wait for it - peanut butter and chocolate spread sandwich!

It's killing me - so i made another lemonade drink

Squeezed the lemon
Added the water
Opened the cupboard to get the maple syrup - saw the peanut butter aaaarghhh
Got through it - added the syrup
Added the cayenne
Cleared the cutting board to make a sandwich
Freaked out and added cold water to the drink so i could get it down me faster

Shit but phew i still want it and my drink is too hot to drink so i'm using this to distract me. That was far too close. I'mnot sure if by eating blueberries is making things much harder but i'll finish them off later so from tomorrow it'll be 100% hardcore master cleanse. I'll have to go out tomorrow to buy more lemons anyway but i still don't know what laxative to buy. I'm seriously considering taking my mum's constipation relief pills but i think it's a bad idea. I'm sure i can wait until tomorrow but it's quite a walk to my local health food store and i'm not used to going outside so i'm quite anxious about that. However i'm hoping to dye my hair still today and have a nice bath so it should leave me feeling a bit better.

Now i want a toasted cheese sandwich so bad - errr but i'm vegan

Feeling a bit mental
Going to rink this then do my hair. Hope i don't mess it up becasue that will definitely send me straight into the kitchen to misbehave and i'll be gutted if i do.

I guess i have to remind myself that while this isn't going perfectly it is still better than i have managed to do before so i really have to stick with it.

Day 2 - 16:00

2010-08-22T07:51:00.000-07:00

I'm finding it harder this afternoon. I had a bowl of blueberries for lunch and i was really close to making a sandwich so i've made another lemonade. I am on my fourth lemonade today.

I am glad i'm having blueberries once or twice for the first two days because i've been reading how important the laxative is and i havent had any at all. Apparently the laxative is crucial becuase that's how all the toxic waste is eliminated from your body! So tomorrow i'll have to try to get out and get some but i really don't know what to buy. I have some laxative stuff in the house but it's my Mum's so it's prescription stuff which i think would be too harsh for me to take. I really wish i had someone to ask

Day 2 - 13:30

2010-08-22T04:59:00.000-07:00

I'm off to make a lemonade drink then i'll tell you why i'm feeling optimistic again!

According to my earlier plan i should be having a herbal tea now but i decided to have another lemonade because it's 1pm and i don't think i've had enough calories etc in me. This will be only my second drink and i want to consciously drink more than yesterday.

I've been skimming through the book and while i can't copy pages for you i don't think - i can show you why i'm feeling good about it.

The section BENEFITS OF THE MASTER CLEANSE lists:

Better sleep - i find it difficult to get to sleep and wake up every hour or so. I grind my teeth, have terrible nightmares, suffer with restless leg syndrome and often wake up paralysed where i cant move for about 10-15 minutes

More energy - probbly due mostly to the little sleep i get but i always feel mentally and physically exhausted. So much so that if i felt i looked good enough to have a night out i would be too tired to go

Positive outlook - I suffer with depression, anxiety and panic attacks. I have no positive thoughts about my future and regularly find i am self destructive

Greater flexibility - I cannot touch my toes - not even close and sometimes i can barely lift my leg enough to tie my shoes! I have always wanted to try yoga for mental and physical health but am too embarrassed not only because of my weight but i think i can't bend enough and people wont be able to see the teacher over me etc etc

Weight loss - 'women often lose 1 lb per day' wouldn't that be nice! So even if yesterday doesn't count and i have blueberries again today then i'll have 6 clear days. If i could lose 6lbs or even 4lbs i'd feel a lot better probably enough to get into my jeans and go out on Sunday

Swelling and pain - My feet/ankles and fingers often get swollen (water retention i suppose)and i have back pain. My back pain has improved significantly since i bought a special mattress but it never goes away, i never feel free and comfortable when i move and my joints crack so much it's disgusting and people always comment on it.

Skin improves - My face goes through cycles of being quite shocking (pus filled boils and lumps everywhere) to being a combination of very dry and very oily at the same time to the extent that i cannot cover it with make up - it flakes and seems to highlight the imperfections. I have folliculitis on my legs which swells and gets infected, scabs, bleeds, and scars. I would never get my legs out in public even if they were thin and toned and i can't shave them because it rips the scabs off :( I have been on medication for this and it have improved a lot but is still pretty bad up close an it has now started happening in my arm pits and pubic hair which is incredibly painful and uncomfortable.

Allergies - I have terrible hayfever which can prevent me going out too. I also have other allergies that have caused my throat to nearly close up so when i'm out i always have anxieties that i will be exposed to something without realising.

These are not all the benefits listed just the ones that i find personally relate to me. So i'm sure you cannow see why this is so important to me beyone the weight loss.
I am not expecting miracles but i believe in trying something and giving it 100%. If you go into something withthe attitude that you expect to fail then chances are that you will. So i'm sipping my lemonade and channeling my POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE.
I'm going to keep looking through this book and hopefully i'll feel better and better about it and that will help me keep on track.

Day 2 - weigh in

2010-08-22T04:35:00.000-07:00

current weight (22 August 2010)
9st 3lbs
58.9kg

1st goal weight (4th October)
8st 7lbs

Ultimate goal weight (1st December)
8st

I will accept 8st 3 by this time and 8st by 1st Jan
I am being realistic and taking into account how i have fared in the past when i've made these plans so while i intend to be at my goal weight by Christmas i actually have another two months before i MUST be at that weight as i'm planning a trip to Australia!

I'd love to reach my first goal weight by this weekend even if only temporarily just so i can go out on Sunday. I'm not bothered if i put if back on - i just want to go out for one day but after that i'm getting serious and thinking long term so i don't think it's too unrealistic.

First goal - lose 8lbs in 6 weeks
Second goal - lose 7lbs in 8 weeks

This gives me room to allow for less weight loss as time goes on and if i achieve this then it gives me a couple of months to work on really toning up without having to worry about losing!

This has made me feel a bit better about my long term objectives but we will have to see how this week unfolds first. I am not sure how much i will lose because i am not actually that big i'm just significantly begger than i used to be which i find distressing. I'm sure if someone was a few stone heavier than me they could lose a lot in a week by doing the master cleanse.

I'm off to read through my book now: THE COMPLETE MASTER CLEANSE by Tom Woloshyn

Day 2 - 12:15

2010-08-22T04:15:00.000-07:00

I have been so busy this morning that i'm only on my first drink of the day. I intend to make conscious effort to drink the lemonade every two hours and drink a herbal tea on the hour between lemonades. I think this should help me to drink enough of the lemonade and should hopefully help me to feel less hungry.

At the moment i feel hungry and could definitely eat but i don't feel the need to binge and i'm feeling pretty optimistic. I hope i can maintain this!

I found the book on the cleanse which i will have a good look through today. I know i need to find out about the laxative issue because i am not currently taking anything and while i feel that it's not causing me any harm i want to know the implications in terms of the efficacy of the cleanse. I definitely don't have any time to waste as i'm now just 6 days away from the 'big day out' as i'm calling it. Not going to this is just not an option. I don't want to be a shitty friend, i don't want to let my sister down, and i don't want to have another panic attack just because i can't fit into my jeans. So many people will be there that i haven't seen in years and while my friends have never commented on my weight gain to others it will be really noticeable if they haven't seen me since i was thin.

I'm feeling a bit crap now. Ugh i'll see if there's anything ov tv and try to stay away from the kitchen

Day 1 - 21:30

2010-08-21T13:33:00.002-07:00

I am so hungry I don't know whether to puke or cry.
I had some blueberries earlier because I knew I was close to bingeing.
Currently on my fourth lemonade drink - I think I'm not drinking enough of the mixture maybe that's why I've not been doing so well. I might have one more depending on how long I stay up but tomorrow I'll make a schedule to ensure I never go too long without drinking the lemonade mix

Feeling a bit better after finishing the drink but I'll definitely be avoiding the kitchen if I can

Day 1 - 17:30

2010-08-21T09:48:00.000-07:00

FAIL

All I can hope is that my terrible binge has upset me enough to get my ass in gear.

I am so disappointed in myself.

Usually this is the point where I'd give up and just keep eating but right now I'm sitting in the car and my mum has left me holding steaming hot bread fresh from the bakers and I'm not touching it. When I get home I'll make up a cup of lemonade straight away

Ugh - feel hungry and horrible

Day 1 - 13:30

2010-08-21T05:35:00.000-07:00

I've had two lemonade drinks so far. Finding it really hard to go into the kitchen and not eat! I've had a few glasses of water too. Just trying to keep away from the kitchen so I'm having a wardrobe clear out as I'm desperate for space to attempt to fit all my crap into this tiny room.

Not doing too bad so far. I'm dying to eat but I'm not actually hungry. If you're feeling like this just drink water

Day 1 - 12:00

2010-08-21T03:54:00.000-07:00

I was nearly half way through my soya yogurt when i decided to chuck in in the bin and pour myself a glass of water. Obviously i'm pretty disappointed but it was only a yogurt and it was soya plus i found the strength to get rid of it so i have to look at the positives. I'm sipping my water now. I'm going to clean my bathroom a bit then see if my mum fancies doing my highlights for me. There is no way i'm going anywhere with my roots like this and i need two colours put on so i need it done twice by next weekend. Atleast that will provide a distraction so i won't be able to get near the fridge for a bit.

I'll have another lemonade drink before we start on my hair.

Master cleanse - Day 1

2010-08-21T03:17:00.000-07:00

Saturday 21st - 11:30am

I'm going to blog as much as possible to help me keep on track, organise my thoughts and keep on top of the cleanse. It will also give you a clear idea of what the cleanse is really like.

So far i've had one drink and i dont feel hungry. However this is the point at which i would usually cave and have a sandwich or something. I'm going to try having a glass of water then maybe some blueberries if i feel i'm about to make something else to eat.

I think if i can push through the first two days i can really do this. RIght now i'm feeling pretty optimistic. Gotta keep my PMA!

Saturday 21st August 2010

2010-08-21T02:27:00.000-07:00

I have seven days to shift something!

Today i really [please God] am starting the master cleanse. I will also be eating blueberries as a way of easing myself in (and not wasting the expensive fruit in the fridge)

So as i write this it's 10am and i'm sort of enjoying my first lemonade drink. I used the following measurements:
Juice of half a large lemon
Dessert spoon of maple syrup
A good shake of cayenne pepper maybe a third to half a teaspoon
In a large mug of just-boiled water

While i am not doing this solely for weight loss i do hope it'll get rid of a significant amount of weight to allow me just one day out next weekend. I am aware that if i do lose anything it will be mostly water weight which will probably return. I am keen to do this because i just never feel 'well' i have terrible skin that makes me so insecure that even if i was a perfect shape/size i still wouldn't go out anywhere, i suffer with terrible headaches and feel exhausted from the moment i get up until bedtime in which my sleep is fitful at best and filled with nightmares. I'm hoping that by relieving some physical problems and reducing stress it may be a starting point for reducing my general anxiety. If i have better skin and reduce my weight i hope i will be able to join some of the exercise classes offered at my university in a couple of months. I think i'd benefit hugely from yoga and pilates so this is a stepping stone to so much more.

I really really hope i can stick it out. In a strange way it might be a good thing that my head is killing because i heard that can be a side effect of the cleanse. I'm hoping i can push through. I'd love to hear about other people's experiences or advice to go with the cleanse.

Wish me luck!

Saturday 14th August

2010-08-14T15:08:00.000-07:00

Not doing too good but i've done a lot worse
I've eaten so far today:

2 small bowls of cereal
5 doughnuts(!!!!)
tea + 1 sugar

banana
blueberries
strawberries
raspberries

I'm refusing to weigh myself

I have a primary deadline of August 27th so i'm hoping to do a day or two of fruit and veg then master cleanse hopefully but it'll be awkward as i'll have my mum home the whole time so i need to work out whether i can tell her about it or not.

I was supposed to go to a festival today and a gig last night but i was feeling too fat to go out. I went to the doctor last week and spent 20 minutes trying to squeeze myself into my biggest jeans :( which feels just awful.

I will weigh myself if i'm able to start the master cleanse an maybe take some before and after pics too

Monday 9th August

2010-08-09T02:31:00.000-07:00

While i'm sure anyone reading this will think i'm very weak, unfocussed, i want to be honest. I'm hoping that at some point - no matter how many times i have tried to start over or make changes and failed to do so - that one day i will succeed! So if i can do it then anyone can. I have failed many more times than is written in front of you.

So here goes my plan as of today:

Three days of prep followed by master cleanse for 7 to 10 days

Because i'm building up to the master cleanse i want to eliminate breads and starchy foods [not all carbohydrates] and maintain a diet of mostly fruits and vegetables.

For breakfast i'm having a large banana chopped up with fresh blueberries and a squeeze of lemon juice.

Approx calories: 150

30th June 2010

2010-06-30T05:19:00.000-07:00

So after eating a slice of leftover pizza for breakfast and following it up with not one but two ice creams and realising i have 30 days until my cousin's, the 16lbs i have are weighing heavily off my arse and on my mind.

I'm hoping to do the lemonade master cleanse. I know you should prep your body first but if i don't do it now i'll end up eating more damn ice cream and planning another dangerous schedule of 'starting tomorrow' so i may not be 100% on the cleanse but hopefully i can stay away from junk food and carbs and just have a mix of fruit and veg with the lemonade drinks throughout the day. So i'm sort of doing the preperation with a bit of the cleanse thrown in.

Obviously i'm not aiming to shed 16lbs by the wedding but if i could do half of that i'd be so happy then i'd be in with a shot of reaching my goal weight by the end of August.

My skin at the moment is terrible. If you were to take a look at one inch of the skin on my chest or back there would be about 20 red, inflamed, horrible spots. My face is so oily and it has never been like this not even in my teens! My forehead is a minefield of whiteheads. I can't understand why especially as i wear my hair off my face and dont wear any make up on my skin whatsoever. I am hoping the cleanse will help with my skin too. Also i'm hoping it could help with my hayfever which has been so bad lately that even if i woke up tomorrow in Gwen Stefani's body i wouldnt be able to go outside. It sounds like i'm expecting a miracle and to be honest i think that's what i'm looking for.

My rough plan is to start the cleanse fully on Tuesday so it should be roughly as follows:

Wed - rest of the day drinking lemonade then vegetable based evening meal
Thurs - I am at hospital all day with my Mum so drinking lemonade in the morning then maybe fruit while we're out and then veg based evening meal
Fri - lemonade all day then veg based evening meal
Sat - Lemonade in the morning then out with Mum all day so i may have to eat out but i'll try to be good then lemonade all evening
Sunday - lemonade all day then veg evening meal
Monday - lemonade in the morning then a full day at the hospital prob 8 hours so i'll make up a lunch to take with me and snacks to hopefully stop be from eating loads later on but no carbs so my body is prepped for the cleanse
Tuesday - Day 1 of the cleanse. Weigh and measure, go out to buy ingredients and laxative tea and make strict schedule. I'm hoping to keep a daily journal of the cleanse.

28 June 2010

2010-06-28T04:35:00.000-07:00

So i've just looked back to when i started this blog and i was 9 st 1 lb and today i am 9 st 2 lbs.

That's not great news to start with really but at the end of March i had put on a stone so i have lost something i'm just no nearer my goal that i was nearly five months ago.

Ok so again. Let's START TODAY no time to wallow just got to get on with it. I'm going to make a pot of green tea and jog on the spot for a bit (i need to get my fitness levels up before i can do much more)

1st Feb

2010-02-01T07:06:00.000-08:00

Master cleanse - fail :(

I wasn't able to make up a flask and skipped breakfast on Saturday. We got stuck in traffic for three hours and after 7 hours having eaten absolutely nothing and nearly freezing to death i ate some greasy hot chips. I didn't eat much more than that all day so i guess calorie wise it wasn't all that much but it's just so bad to only eat one rubbish thing - i would have rather eaten twenty good things!
Sunday wasn't great either. I had beans on toast(only half size) and i can't even remember what else.

So now i don't have time to do the master cleanse before i go away. However i am on a diet. It's going to be quite bad in terms of calorie intake but i don't need to go out or study at the moment so it's not too bad. Plus i've hurt my foot/leg and can't exercise. I have nine days before i go away an i wanted to be 8st 5lbs by then. Unfortunately i'm 9st 1lb but i must admit that i'm glad i didn't push myself as my exams had to take priority.

So far today i had a toasted tomato sandwich, peppermint tea, grapes and i'm going to make a pot of green tea now

I am planning on drinking plenty of water and green tea and just eating fruit/nuts and veg/salad throughout the day but always eating a proper breakfast

I am disappointed about the master cleanse but i want to fully prepare before i start and have sufficient recovery days afterward which i cannot do at this time.

So far i have lost 13lbs and need to lose 8lbs to reach my first goal (14lbs eventually) It has taken me 4 months which is less than 1lb a week so hopefully i can have a nice kickstart this week and try really hard to watch what i eat when i'm away. I think my main plan will be to stay away from chips and bread but other than that i'm not going to completely deprive myself - i will be on holiday afterall and there is a gym where i m staying. I plan to maintain a weightloss of 2lbs per week or minimum 5lbs a month. I think this should be manageable. As much as i would love to right now i have to remember that i cannot lose 10lbs in a week!

Any advice would be much appreciated :)

master cleanse

2010-01-29T16:08:00.000-08:00

I have just taken my senna pill. The first time I have ever taken any kind of laxative and I'm pretty nervous about it. I'm not sure why as it's totally natural - we'll see what happens in the morning eeeek
I start the master cleanse -for real- tomorrow. I'll be out most of the day but I'm going to make a flask of lemon and maple syrup to take and add the cayenne when I drink it. I'll have one cup in the morning and maybe a second if we leave later than planned.
I'm reading through my master cleanse book then going to bed. I'll be posting every day with updates including and gory details. I may even take pictures if I feel brave enough

Wish me luck! Feel free to join me on the cleanse or post comments/advice

20 ;an 2010

2010-01-20T08:55:00.000-08:00

For some reason my computer crashes every time I try to write my blog even though I've had it on for about 6 hours...

Breakfast
Bran flakes, banana
Apple juice

Lunch
Avocado and bean wraps with lemon juice and pepper

Snack
Walnuts (6)

Green tea - whole pot

Today I tried out the pussycat dolls workout dvd!
It was intense enough that you feel it working and you're slightly out of breath but don't feel the need to collapse. I did 22 minutes - the warm up, don't cha steps and don't cha performance. It felt good learning a routine actually I feel a little pleased with myself

Hannah Waterman dvd
I did 8 minutes of the warm up and want to collapse but I have just been working out. I'm still running the tape and it looks pretty intense. Atleast you can see she has lost a huge amount of weight so I will go back to it.

I have an exam tomorrow so time for bath and more studying. I will probably have a lot of fruit tonight and a light meal I can't waste time cooking

Tracy Anderson mat madness

2010-01-18T08:32:00.000-08:00

19 minutes in and I had to give up. I am sitting, hiccuping, wondering if I could stand up if I tried...
Wow - I do intend to press play and try start up again in a minute then write a proper a review

10 minutes later
I will not write a proper review til I can use my arms again
Ouch

jan 11th

2010-01-11T07:10:00.000-08:00

I am still away and eating really badly :(
It started ok I did a little shop the first day and bought cereal and fruit and some veggie pies to go with the dinner they were making. The second day I bought ingredients to make a big soup (it was snowing) butternut, carrots, lentils, butterbeans etc I'll put up a recipe if anyone asks
The pies aren't too bad really only a small amount of pastry and soya and veg filling and potato and veg is all good but I have eaten three boxes of donuts!!! I feel awful but my grandmother thinks she's being nice buying me treats! She seems to think I'll go hungry without dessert...
I am terrified what the scales will say when I get home and even more worried that she'll come back from town with more 'treats' for me.

Due to awful weather (it's been minus 12 degrees) I haven't been able to go running. I'm not scared of the cold but the ground is covered in ice and it's very dangerous to even walk over so I haven't been able to go running once! So what I thought would be a really healthy and active 10 days away has been far from it. I am snacking on yogurt, walnuts and blueberries and eating good breakfasts and soup for lunch. Dinner is not unhealthy but more calorific than I'd like

I'll start posting daily when I'm home with meal plans etc let's just hope I haven't gained weight!

Jan 2nd 2009

2010-01-02T12:05:00.000-08:00

I haven't had a minute to myself today so no exercise! I'll be happy when everyone's schedules are back to normal and i have space at home to work out. I'll post all about my new exercise dvds then aswell as a full report on the wii shape game i wrote about.
In two days i will be in the countryside and i am planning on running daily. I wish i had someone to ask advice about this as i've never ever done any outdoor running eeek but i will make sure i stretch before and after and i already know the route as i have walked it loads so know plenty of rest places etc just hope i don't run into any hot guys or fall in the river. I wish i had an ipod shuffle so i could listen to music.

What do you wear to run?? I have running shoes and leggings but unsure whether to wear tights cos it's freezing out but i guess i'll be sweating. It would be nice if i had hoodies that didn't have zips up the front - i don't think that will be comfortable...
Maybe i'll see if i can add some good music to my blackberry as i'm kinda scared to go out without my phone anyway and don't want to try running with so much stuff in my pockets i can't carry my old ipod brick aswell! Do normal earphones fit in a blackberry? Guess i'll have to do some research tomorrow before i get packing

Sleep might be a good idea for now

Jan 2nd meals

2010-01-02T05:19:00.000-08:00

Breakfast

Chopped banana
maple pecan crisp mixed with fruit and nut muesli
added dried cranberries

green tea (pot)

Snack

Peach soya yogurt
3 dried apricots

Lunch

Fresh baked baguette: lemon carrot grated, tomato, cucumber, mixed leaves, spoonful of humous, green and red pepper, sunflower and pumpkin seeds

Dinner

Had a big lunch so wanted something lighter for dinner
Fruit salad: banana, pomegrante(half), pineapple, apple, grapes, kiwi, orange
All fresh - i can have leftovers for breakfast - add lemon juice to preserve the fruit and keep in an airtight container in the fridge

Jan 1st meals

2010-01-02T05:08:00.000-08:00

Breakfast

Toasted salad sandwich
Orange juice (small)
approx 350 cals

snack
cherry soya yogurt

Lunch

celery sticks
red pepper strips
humous dip

Dinner

Large salad with balsamic dressing
Avocado, tomatoes, cucumber, pine nuts

few salt and vinegar crisps

tip: pour your salad dressing into a spoon and add - do not pour over your salad as you won't know how much you're getting and a spoonful should be enough.
Dressings can have a huge amount of fat/sugar/calories so go for something vinegar based rather than creamy like thousand island or ceasar! Vinegar is a great for your metabolism and skin health!

tip: ignore the calories/fat in avocado! This is the best kind of fat! The sort that stops you getting wrinkles and cellulite and keeps your skin plump and smoooooth. The essential oils in avocado and nuts are so good for you. If you're need to cut cals but smaller avocados and only use half. If you keep the stone in the other half and squeeze a little lemon juice over the exposed flesh it'll keep in the fridge for a day or so

Dec 31st

2009-12-31T04:37:00.000-08:00

It doesn't look like i will be alone at all today so probably won't be able to exercise! One good thing atleast is that i'm getting my hair done - only cheap by the woman who comes to the house to do my mum's colour. This means i'll get a few highlights (whatever is left in the bowl when my mum is done!) And i'm not going to have the hairstyle i wanted because i know she will cut oo much off and i'll cry so i'm just getting a trim which will make my hair healthier/stronger and then i should hopefully be more comfortable if i wanted to wear it down. It's new year's eve so atleast my hair have to be washed to i'll straighten it and paint my nails so when i can't take any more of being at home i will be sort of ready to escape.

It's just one more thing that makes me miserable that i don't have more money. I haven't even been to the dentist for 7 years! This isn't as bad as it sounds because i have really good teeth and i make sure i look after them. I have a friend who gets her hair done every other month and she always looks like she's just stepped out of a salon. I never wear my hair down so i am going to endeavour to try keep it nice and in the new year after my exams and my detox i am going full steam ahead with trying to find a little job to fit around uni work. Wish me luck -i don't think anyone is hiring at the moment :(

Dec 31st Meals

2009-12-31T04:34:00.000-08:00

Breakfast

50g muesli (3 kinds mixed)
90g banana
orange juice

350 cals approx

you can reduce the cereal to 30g and skip the juice if you really need to restrict calories but keep the banana

Lunch

I wasn't feeling very well and went to bed :(

Dinner

Feeling sorry for myself and ended up eating chip sandwiches for dinner!

I followed this with a tub of Jelly Tots while watching 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall'

It is perfectly acceptable to comfort eat when you're all alone watching tv on NYE!

Wii Shape 1

2009-12-30T15:37:00.000-08:00

Just 20 minutes later...

What i was expecting was for the camera to make some kind of animated(wishful thinking) image of your body shape and cruelly recommend areas for improvement. I wanted this specifically because for some reason all the weight i lose comes off my top half only. This is to the extent that even when i'm over my normal weight you can see my rib cage but i can still barely fit into a size 12 pair of jeans! I worry that i would turn into a top half skeleton before anything dropped off my thighs...

Anyway what happened was this - it scanned an image; you had to line your body up with the silhouette on screen forwards and from the side then click on an area i think one out of 5 thatyou would like to work on. I dont like the idea of only working on one thing at a time - although i thought i did - don't worry i am confusing myself too. I am assuming tht in a month or so they will ask me to scan in my body againstthe silhouette and see if there is any change. You had to do a short fitness test which was calculated on accuracy of completion of the moves e.g. squats, jumping jacks etc and i got 75% overall which is a b+ I suppose grades give you something to aim for each time.
The camera wasn't actually as scary as i first thought and you really can't see your face because your whole body needs to fit in the picture and i found it very helpful seeing the lines of my body in relation to the animated coach so i 100% agree that it helps with the accuracy of the moves which is so important because if you're not doing them right you can do little good or even harm yourself without realising. I don't know when i will have time to do a proper workout as it's New Year's Eve tomorrow so everyone will be up late and in a few days i'm going away but when i have a chance i will go into more detail on the actual workouts.

Just for a laugh - imagine me in pink underwear looking like a fool - you had to wear something that would stand out against the background and all my clothes are black and i wanted the camera image reading to be as accurate as possible so i didn't want to wear anything baggy. The camera was slightly slimming i think - very clever on their part but i'm not silly i know what my flab looks like cheeky game maker people i'm onto you!

I have no plans for tomorrow :( but i can't wait to get this awful year over and done with that's for sure! I'm tempted to see if there are any late cinema showings on...

WII - YOUR SHAPE

2009-12-30T15:15:00.001-08:00

Has anyone tried this? I got it for Christmas and haven't had a chance to use it til now. I'm hoping it's pretty straight forward to set up because it's 11.20pm but an opportunity to exercise shouldn't be wasted!

I liked wii fit soi'll let you know how i get on.

Dec 30th meals

2009-12-30T13:03:00.000-08:00

Breakfast
Chocolate cake - terrible I know but I promised I would be honest on here!

Lunch
Avocado and tomato sandwich

Dinner
Pasta - 75g seems small in the pan but fine in the bowl
Tomato sauce with garlic, onions, chopped olives and handful of spinach
350 cals approx

Snacks
3 dried apricots
Apple
2 ginger biscuits

Could have been better and I only had maybe 3 glasses of water so I'm going to make sure I have plenty of water before I go to bed.
Tomorrow should be better as there is lots more food in the fridge - i'm viewing this as more options not greater quantity!

I'm attempting to write this on my blackberry so forgive me if it's a mess as I can't really see what I'm writing!

2009-12-30T05:56:00.000-08:00

Starting today i will try to write up meal plans or rather what i have eaten more than what i plan to eat. Chances are this will be more than i plan to eat in the near future as i am studying for exams at the moment so i really need to keep energised and not miss out on anything for the sake of weight loss. I am pleased that i can see that my exams are more important than losing weight :)
After my exams i intend to start the lemonade master cleanse. I have been reading up on it - properly not just through the internet and feel that it would really benefit me. I am doing it mostly to detox. I suffer with acne and dry skin and terrible folliculitis which nothing seems to shift- another reason i like my body well covered. I also have terrible problems with my back which i never thought it would help but according to the book i am reading the guy who wrote it had terrible sciatica and now feels no pain from it! So i am pretty optimistic. Even if it turns out to be a major exaggeration or whatever i feel i would like to detox anyway as i eat a lot of carbs. White bread is probably one of the only bad things in my diet as i'm vegan already but i do eat a lot of it and probably more sugar than i ought to. I am not doing it primarily for weight loss as i do expect an weigh lost to return (it's usually only water weight you lose) but i think that any initial drop would help to spur me on.
I would really like to know if anyone has had good/bad experiences with the master cleanse detox. I have tried a number of times to start it but always only lasted a day or two or somehow convinced myself that it's fine if i drink the mixture but have a few slices of toast! I know this is ridiculous and reading the book has helped me to fully understand how and why the process works. I will let you know the author before i start the detox as i'm not sure where it is. I chose not to buy the original by Stanley Burroughs as i felt the newer one would have more information about how to cope with modern life while on the cleanse and have useful case studies to learn from.

Pop that booty! (Oh my!)

2009-12-30T05:36:00.000-08:00

Running through the Pussycat dolls dvd and so far i've gone from thinking 'shit this is ridiculous' to 'i can see why this really works'

At the moment it's sounding like a pretty bizarre form of that game BOP IT with 'rock it' 'pull it' 'slap it' 'pop it' which would be so frightening if i couldn't literally see these girls' muscles working. They are so toned that every move they make you can see that it really works their bodies. Oh my god they're doing - bite, step, push, slap right now haha
One thing i must say is that it's not at all confusing because every single step is repeated and repeated until it really does seem pretty simple and every part is broken down. It is repeating all these moves over and over that is the real work out rather than the dance they put together at the end of each section. The outfits are totally ridiculous but i see how dressing like this (in the comfort and privacy of your own home) can make you feel empowered and sexy. I would possibly even consider it if i lived alone - boots shorts and sports bra - not corset and feather boa!

Whatever you think of the pussycat dolls you cannot deny that Robin Antin has what would be an incredible body for a 20 year old never mind her real age (48 according to imdb). I would like to know what her own daily workout and diet is if anyone knows.

This video is really making me realise the importance of working the arms! I never knew arms could look so hot!

Work it!

2009-12-30T04:39:00.000-08:00

How do you feel about workout videos?

I bought a Hollywood body workout video and played it for about 5 minutes and gave up because i totally hated the people an their oily orange bodies. I felt like they weren't really giving me what i wanted and the silly things they said drove me absolutely nuts.
I also have a yogalates video which i bought mainly as an introduction in the hope that i would feel more confident to go to a yoga class. It's by a woman called Louise Solomon from Byron Bay in Australia. I would recommend watching it through once before starting it. One of the best hings about this is that her daughter also takes part in the video and you can follow her if you are less flexible - i found that i could sometimes do better than what she was doing and follow the main woman which made me feel really great as i never would have thought this possible. A great way to start and i feel like you can really progress with this workout especially if you're shy like me.
If you're interested it's available really cheap at the moment http://www.amazon.co.uk/Yogalates-For-Weight-Loss-DVD/dp/B000H7ZZEM
Three exercise videos just arrived in the mail and as i sit here i am not really sure why i've one this. However my choices may amuse you.

First is - wait for it- Pussycat dolls workout by Robin Antin. Now let's be honest - do you want to look like a pussycat doll? Umm hell yeah! Don't get me wrong you won't catch me swinging around poles or slapping my near bear arse any time soon but they do have the most incredible bodies. They are not stick thin, they are strong and stunning. God knows they work for it though so who knows what's in store for me... Still i'm looking for a lifestyle overhaul not just a change of shape. I'll let you know how it works out.

The second is the new video from Tracy Anderson. As far as i am aware she has made two videos; the first being a dance workout which i thought i didn't need as i plan to do a lot of cardio in the gym and i assume the pcd dvd will be quite dance based(i feel so silly even thinking about danicng around my living room) For those of you who have never heard of her; Tracy Anderson is the personal trainer to Gwyneth Paltrow and Shakira - both women who i think have a good attitude towards their health and body so i'm looking forward to that although i think it will be a huge challenge.

The third is a dvd my Mum asked me to order for her which i may take a look at if she ever opens it. It's the Hannah Waterman Body Blitz. The one thing i really like about this is that she went to an expert in sports science to help her lose weight and change her lifestyle rather than some quick fix celebrity 'doctor' although i'm not sure about that statement on the cover about a daily workout time of just ten minutes. I am sure she didn't lose 3stone in 5 months by doing 10 solitary minutes a day! Still i am interested in learning about interval training. I know a lot of boxers do this so i'm game for it. Of course i'll keep it in the wrapping to see if my mum ever opens it haha.

What fitness dvds have you tried? What do you love/hate about them? It always amuses me to see the ridiculous things celebrities promote.

Dec 30 2009

2009-12-30T04:08:00.000-08:00

The moments before you step on the scale and the second before the number stops all sorts of silliness runs through your head especially if you've avoided the scale for a while - usually along the lines 'ok if it's less than this i will be so so happy/surprised' In my head just now i was thinking how last time it went up two pounds and it knocked me for six as i really hadn't seen that coming. I knew i wasn't being strict enough but never dreamed i would actually put on weight from it. I went away for the summer and put on a whole stone! We just never really did anything and wherever we went we would drive there i didn't realised how much exercise i did every day just walking around London!
Let's cut a long and pointless story short - the last time i weighed myself i was 9st 6lbs (i'm not sure when exactly but more than a week ago) and today i was 9st 3lbs of course this is only 2lbs off the weight i was before summer it still feels as though i am steadily going in the right direction. I have lost a total of 12lbs since the beginning of October.

I'm watching 'running in heels' to try to inspire my inner fashionista haha. I have come to realise that because i am so unhappy with many different things i cover my entire body - i wear baggy jeans(well they used to be baggy) long sleeved tops and long cardigans, beanie hats and big scarves - covering me head to toe. This means i throw clothes on and hide my hair entirely so end up putting on mascara and running out the house. Because i don't talk to anyone at university i feel like no one can see me (weird i know) I own really nice clothes but i can't fit into any of them so maybe when i have lost the weight i will feel able to wear nicer things and not hide myself away. I went out last week (shock horror) and a few guys were even chatting to me - i even had a conversation with one of them and it made me feel pretty good. I felt pretty shit at first because you get it into your head that it takes so much effort on your part before someone Will look twice at you. I had a full face of make up and straightened hair etc (i still wore a hoody in a club) but i realised that it's probably the absence of my moody face and attitude that made all the difference. I have decided that one of my resolutions next year will be to just make a little effort - i felt so much better being out and not feeling 100% hideous.
So here is a tip - always dress like you wouldn't be mortified if you bumped into your ex or the old school bully or prospective employer! You will feel much better if you take the time to straighten your hair, shave your legs and moisturise. Now when you achieve that perfect body you'll already have all the finishing touches sorted

Don't display yourself in a way that you are embarrassed to be seen!

29 Dec 2009

2009-12-29T04:16:00.000-08:00

So it's lunch time and so far i've eaten two biscuits. This is both too much and too little. Exactly what it is, is a waste of my time and calories. My mother is the first to point out that i've put on weight but she bought me a huge box of biscuits - you know the onles from Ikea? I would go check how much in weight but i'll just eat more biscuits. Sometimes i think she does shit like this to make herself feel better because she's been on a diet since the day i was born (eating half a buguette with various soft cheeses when you get in from work is going to kill and diet plan)

What i need to eat is a meal. Food to nourish my body! I'm not expecting much from the fridge i hate living with so many people and having someone else do the shopping. I have no control over anything. Every day i dream about what it would be like to have my own place, my own space - own fridge, couch, sink, shower - a place where i can relax, i'm always so on edge here, everything is a mess, i have so many books that i cant get rid of, the printer is in my room, so much stuff in my tiny room. A few weeks ago i bought some cushions for my apartment, to go on my light grey couch (neither of which exist)
I'm sick of falling over stuff all the time, of wishing i could be somewhere else. I can't study today because my mum is here and keeps driving me mad and letting the dog out, making him bark and now i gotta go find a way to get him back in the living room because i'm expecting a delivery. My neck is killing and i barely slept but i daren't get back in bed cos she'll throw a fit. You'd think form this post that i was 14 years old and pissed off with puberty but i'm 24. Yeah i can't believe it either - this is what happens when you forget to live your life.

START TODAY

2009-12-28T16:13:00.000-08:00

This is where i change everything. I don't need it to hit New Year's Eve to realise how much pain i have endured these past twelve months and i don't intent to wait until January first to make things change. I'm not expecting miracles but for someone who has achieved next to nothing in the past 6 years anything at all can be considered progress. So let's START TODAY

I do not intend to tell anyone about this blog it's just my space for my plans an my thoughts. I'd like to think that maybe someone will read it but either way i feel like it might help.

So just a few things i intend to do this year:

1. Pass my January exams
2. Take/pass driving theory test
3. Get a part-time job
4. Pass driving test
5. Save for a car
6. Go on a holiday
7. Go out socially atleast once a month - must wear heels
8. Reach goal weight
9. Join uni gym
10. Take yoga class at uni
11. Wear make up every day
12. Detox after exams
13. Get a haircut
14. Go to see a movie once a month
15. Clean out room
16. Sell stuff on ebay
17. Organise drawers and wardrobe
18. Talk to people
19. Make a plan to leave the house for NYE
20. Start to dress better

While these things may seem basic and pretty childish even, they are things i am incapable of doing. I don't speak to another soul at university and while i know that yoga would benefit me greatly i am far too shy to go to a class. When i buy my gym membership i can take any available classes so hopefully that will push me to do so. Perhaps when i have lost a little weight i will feel more comfortable going but i am scared i will stand out as i am shockingly unflexible; i can't touch my toes - not by a longshot. I have bought a yogalates dvd so i'm hoping i can use that to learn a little and hopefully then settle into the class easier. Only problem is my mum has two weeks off work so i am never alone in the house so unless i do it late at night it will have to wait a while. Next week i'm going to stay with my grandparents so if the weather is ok i am going to try to run daily as i can't do that here.
It will be a few weeks until i can establish any kind of realistic routine but as long as i do something atleast then i am happy. Just happy to be doing something.

Next time i'll try, for the first time in my life
It won't pass me by
Procrastinate, it can wait, i put it off, START TODAY!